We were readmitted yesterday.
Bede’s little soul is agitated. Wearied but not yet worn. He has been working hard, He has spent the night and most of the day sleeping on my chest. I can feel his little chest rising and falling against my own. Breathing is hard work. Huff puff huff puff huff puff.
His plump, warm, soft hands resting on my throat feel like the greatest gift, His warmth blankets me. His determinedness fortifies me. His gentlenesss soothes me. His peace envelops me.
But that is all about me, this blog is not meant to be a testament to a mother’s love for her son. This blog bears witness to the most remarkable little human I have ever come across.
Bede is grounded. His light glows. Bede is tender and he is true. His strength is gentle but uncompromising.
I’m sure I have said it before but he reminds me of a ship. Forging forward, undeterred.
In my last blog I likened chemo to sitting at the coast watching a front roll in. I grew up directly across the road from the open ocean. I would watch the clouds gather and know the storm and the gales are about to hit. The windows will rattle and the house will shake, you’ll lose power, the storm will batter you.
Now here we are in the thick of it. The storm has hit. Bede’s little body is being battered by a bacterial blood infection, he is septic. The doctor said today the kind of bacteria and infection he has is really as bad as it gets. He is shaken but he is undeterred and so as his mum I’m really not scared. Bede has bunkered down and is enduring the front, like our old house he has a solid foundation, Team Bede. The collaboration of so much love, expertise, friendship, prayer, science, hope, faith, grit, with the most amazing leader and Bede really does lead the way.
We have caught the infection early. He is responding to the antibiotics.
I am in awe. I think one of the most remarkable attributes a person can have is the ability to just keep on keeping on. In the face of all adversity to put one foot in front of the other and battle on. My precious son completely embodies that ability and I am truly in awe of it.
Note: This entry was written last night. Bede is still a sick little baby but he is responding incredibly well to the antibiotics. Most of his blood counts are recovering very well and that includes his neutrophils which represent his immune system. Bede is not out of the woods yet but he’s finding his way.