My cup is full. I am brimming with joy and happiness and thankfulness. A smile irrepressibly spreads from one corner of my mouth to the next. Life is grand and beautiful and saturated with colour and light.
Bede turned 6 months old on the 2nd and we celebrated. We celebrated with balloons and colours and cake and love.
Time is a funny, elastic thing. If you asked me if I have had long with G who is 7 years I would say not at all, he is still a baby. But this week when I think of Bede I feel like 6 months is a long time. It feels like a miracle. I have truly loved and fully lived each of those days and fully immersed myself in the experience of Bede’s life. Being Bede’s mum has been all encompassing. I have held him for hours every day and made sure he has felt loved and nurtured and safe. My love for him is embossed on every cell of my being.
6 month old Bede isn’t too much different to the one month old Bede. He is calm, resolute, substantial, joyful, curious and happy. He shines. He seeps beauty and grace and oh so much light. even when he can not phsyically mould his mouth into a smile you can see the light and happiness pouring from his eyes. The main difference is now we know just how much he is capable of. He is capable of more than simply enduring. He is capable of growing and evolving through the most daunting and trying circumstances.
Bede has really taught me a lot about unconditional happiness. I mean it when I say there are times when he can not physically smile but he is happy. His happiness is not pre determined by his conditions, it is not ruled by externalities. He cultivates it from deep within. Like a kaleidoscope his happiness is the reflection of so many things , his family, his toys, a world to explore even if it can not be as vast as yours or mine, his curiosity, his disposition. At times I find myself walking down a corridor on the children’s cancer ward smiling and I feel what Bede feels, unconditional happiness that is not dependant on my environment or material things or anything and I know Bede has taught me a lot.
Bede was so sleepy but so happy to be in the fresh air, tasting ice cream and experiencing his parent’s joy at having him outside.
Other than Bede’s 6 month celebration there has been a lot of other bits of happiness floating around. Last weekend we got home for about 8 hours. The ward also had a BBQ and Bede wore a party hat. We broke all the rules and snuck some ice cream into his mouth.
He has started mouthing at things a lot and we are so excited to start feeding him food soon. I have never taken food granted and can not wait to share with Bede the adventure of taste, such an essential party of experiencing this world of ours.
Roy is obviously so proud of his little baby boy as he watches Bede commandeer his rusk. He seems excited and hopeful and happy and just really really proud.
The truth of course is there is always a balance. This post sounds boldly happy and things are but at the same time there are still moments, quiet moments, even sad moments. There is always a choice to be had. There are moments where you think that 6 months old means we’re already a quarter of the way through Bede’s life expectancy. We choose to focus on the moments where we just feel blessed to have had him this long.
At the moment he is bold and curious and an explorer. Most of all he is adored and rightly so. Well actually in this moment by the time this blog finally goes to air he will probably be asleep and we MAY have even got home! Fingers crossed. Love to you all.
The Bede Update 
Happy 6 month birthday Bede!
Happy 6 months of life Bede! We are wishing you happiness and wellness beautiful man.
Love to love ya Bede bop, and your Mum and Dad and Bro.
And to you Nonna! You are amazing too! XXXX
Oh bless the Lord. I’m so happy to read this wonderful post with tears of joy streaming down my face. A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BEDE. Isabella and Roy you both are the most wonderful parents and Bede is so lucky to have you both just as you are both lucky to have him. Keep fighting Bede, praying for you to have many wonderful birthday . Xxx
Well done, little boy. Keep up the good work. x
Welcome HOME!
Much Love to you all! xxx
Happy 6mths Bede. I have been following your courageous journey and this post has just made my heart swell. Such a special little man, your mummy & daddy deserve to be nothing but proud. Love to you all xx
Just beautiful! Happy 6 months little Bede! Smiling and happy tears after reading of his ice cream and rusk tasting adventure. Sending much love to you all. Always in our thoughts and prayers. xoxoxo
Dear Isabella & Roy, Happy 6mo Birthday to Bede! Your loving spirit as Bede’s parents and your positive strength is awesome and inspirational. Bede is truly blessed to have the strongest, unbreakable bond of everlasting love of his parents that God Almighty has blessed him with. A prayer for Baby Bede: “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb….All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139: 13 & 16). Lots of hugs and prayers for baby Bede and his parents…God Loves Baby Bede and his parents and so do we all at Ward 34 at SJGSH!
Happy 1/2 year birthday Bede. You are a beautiful boy! Much love Zoë and Flynn (also 6 months) -tassie xxxxx
I love to read about Bede’s progress and was so happy to see his 6month bday.. Such a milestone for such an amazing lil man- so strong and inspiring.
To you all enjoy each day and every moment – you are so amazing xx
Oh Bede you rock I am so proud to be your aunty I love you so much!
happy 6 month birthday bede ,i am so proud of our brave courageous little ray of sunshine xx
Happy 6 months Bede! You are an inspiration and a courageous and beautiful little man xxx stay strong baby boy
Happy 6 months Bede! My boys and I light our prayer candle for you and your family each night. You are a truly brave and admirable team in the face of unspeakably difficult circumstances. You have our best thoughts and wishes.
Happy 6 month birthday Bede! I was very lucky to happen to see your beautiful face as I walked down the corridor today with my son (who was in having some bloods done, he’s currently off treatment for brain cancer)…you are such a cutie pie!! My 7 month old twin girls would have so much fun playing with you – they love rusks too. Keep up the good work buddy 🙂
Hi Isabella, it’s Colette here (Paddy’s Mum from 3B). I think of you guys so often and wonder how Bede is doing. I have found your presence on the ward and the positivity with which you look after your family to be truly inspirational. When things felt so bleak for us, just watching you on that first day we shared a room taught me how to try always to treat those around me with kindness and respect even when I felt so consumed with anger and helplessness.
Today is the first time I have read your blog. It just felt like the right time. You write so beautifully and your words shine with light and with love. You guys hold a very special place in our hearts. Much love is coming to Bede and to you guys from us xxx